Date #3 | anythingbutordinaryy's Blog

Basically, last Friday I was over at Ryan's house. I then had a quiet weekend. On Monday, I went to the circus society.. which was interesting. I messaged James asking if he was going, he said "no". I've messaged him a few times with no reply which is really really weird, and hurts me a bit. Because last time we met, when I stayed the night over at his, he told me that he had really strong feelings for me and didn't want to let me sleep cause he wanted to make the most of the time we had together because he "just knew" that when Ryan got back from overseas he'd ask me out and I'd be together with him. So maybe he's unhappy with that and hence doesn't want to talk to me. 

Anyway, at circus I met up with Chris again. Mentioned him briefly before. I am ridiculously attracted to him. He gave me his jumper to wear when I was standing around freezing (it's not allowed to be freezing - it's summer goddamnit!). I barely know him, but I still think I have more feelings for him than I do for Ryan. 

Last night, Ryan took me to an Italian restaurant for dinner, then we saw Les Miserables. It was a pretty good movie, I quite liked it. Wouldn't watch it again unless I could fast forward through many of the songs which dragged on and got really boring. We then went to a bar, got cocktails and talked about personal stuff. He said that if we got together, there'd be a certain point in time by which we would have to have sex otherwise it would be over, because sex is really important to him in a relationship.

That almost makes me feel pressured into doing something that I haven't made a decision to do on my own. However, whether I do or don't sleep with him will be entirely up to me. And if I'm not 'ready' by the arbitrary deadline and things end, that's totally fine. In fact, I don't know if I even want to be in a relationship with him. Friends with benefits might work out better. Thing is, he has a lot of characteristics that are important to me, and he's different from the guys I usually go for - like James - because there isn't a hint of danger there. 

I don't know whether he has feelings for me, or whether I fulfill whatever kind of checklist he has, just as he basically fulfills mine. He has a great body, but I'm not ridiculously attracted to him like I am to Chris. 

Plus he was involved and sleeping with Natalie for a while. I don't like that. 

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Previous Posts
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Midnight revelations., posted April 30th, 2013
Destroying things already., posted April 27th, 2013
First Date., posted April 25th, 2013
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Society Cruise, posted April 19th, 2013
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Date #6 - Valentine's Day, posted February 14th, 2013
Date #5 = indecisiveness., posted February 12th, 2013
Date #4, posted February 10th, 2013
Date #3, posted February 5th, 2013
Date #2, posted February 1st, 2013
Conflicted., posted January 29th, 2013
PTSD, posted January 26th, 2013
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