study time apparently | anythingbutordinaryy's Blog

Finals are next week. I should've started studying today, but I didn't. I didn't even have the motivation to go to the gym. 

I turned up to circus society because last week a guy let me borrow his jumper because I was cold and I had to give it back (he'd actually forgotten). Most of the people there were so nice to me because they had heard some stuff about what happened with Theo.

Everyone except Katherine who had been a fairly good friend since high school. However, I think she was always jealous that I got more attention than her. She always tries to get me down somehow. Today when she turned up she said "those clothes you're wearing.. they uh, make you look like a .. " I finished the sentence for her "a whore?" she said "well, yeah."

I don't understand how. I was wearing black shorts with a black t shirt with some text printed on it (and no it wasn't anything at all suggestive). I told some other people there what she said and they were confused because there was nothing weird about what I was wearing. She was just trying to get me down. How petty. 

I got a lot of hugs today. From a lot of people there. There were three guys who seemed to imply a few times that they'd go out with me. At one point a random person who overheard the conversation said "wait - are you guys dating?" "no" "do you want to be?" 

How do I answer that? The answer is "no", but I don't want to reject a guy in front of a group of his friends. So I made a non-comment like "I'm not dating anyone right now". But I think I led on the poor guy. He was like "we'll talk later". Meaning I have to give him the friendzone speech later. Still better than potentially embarrassing him in front of his friends, hopefully. 

A guy there gave me a lift home! Which was amazing! It takes me about 1.5 hours by bus and train to get home from university. This guy wasn't even interested in me in that way! I've been seeing so much altruism lately. 

Speaking of which, I had a chance encounter the other day when I missed a train by seconds. So did this train guard. So then we just started talking, and talked for half an hour. Basically exchanged life stories. He told me to follow my dreams and believe in myself.

I could be realistic and say that it doesn't mean anything, it was a coincidence and he doesn't know what he's talking about. Then again, what if there is a greater power out there, and the universe set me up to miss my train at just the right time for someone to tell me that I need to change direction in life so I can find some happiness. 

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Previous Posts
friends only., posted June 20th, 2013
and it's pulling me down., posted June 18th, 2013
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all the lights., posted June 3rd, 2013
midnight at the beach (in winter)., posted May 31st, 2013
a punch in the chest., posted May 30th, 2013
Partyy., posted May 26th, 2013
Why I want him., posted May 23rd, 2013
so busy, posted May 16th, 2013
More drama., posted May 13th, 2013
More drama., posted May 13th, 2013
Teaching a sloth how to swim., posted May 12th, 2013
And Another First Date!, posted May 10th, 2013
Slightly overwhelmed., posted May 6th, 2013
It's for the intimacy., posted May 4th, 2013
And Another Break Up., posted May 1st, 2013
Midnight revelations., posted April 30th, 2013
Destroying things already., posted April 27th, 2013
First Date., posted April 25th, 2013
maybe this will work?, posted April 24th, 2013
Society Cruise, posted April 19th, 2013
Oh dear., posted April 11th, 2013
Progress., posted April 9th, 2013
Break Up, posted April 2nd, 2013
something different., posted March 27th, 2013
some unhappy thoughts., posted March 19th, 2013
differences., posted March 16th, 2013
Mail-Order Boyfriend, posted March 11th, 2013
Break Up., posted March 9th, 2013
missing my first week of class!, posted March 5th, 2013
decisions., posted February 25th, 2013
putting up with things., posted February 22nd, 2013
Date #6 - Valentine's Day, posted February 14th, 2013
Date #5 = indecisiveness., posted February 12th, 2013
Date #4, posted February 10th, 2013
Date #3, posted February 5th, 2013
Date #2, posted February 1st, 2013
Conflicted., posted January 29th, 2013
PTSD, posted January 26th, 2013
more drama, posted January 22nd, 2013
spontaneous, posted January 14th, 2013
slightly unstable, posted January 12th, 2013
degree change, posted January 10th, 2013
Decisions, posted January 5th, 2013
New Year's Eve Party 2012/13!, posted December 31st, 2012
Episode 3!, posted December 21st, 2012
Season 2: Episode 2, posted December 19th, 2012
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